“I love the analogy of how sex is like dining but how do I talk about it?”

Thanks to Tori for sending us a question asking, “I love the analogy of how intimacy is like dining but wonder how you go about bringing this up with your spouse?”

Great question Tori and we’re sure you are not the only one out there wondering about this very thing.  We often find people like the ideas presented in books on intimacy but are not sure how to talk about or apply them in their relationships.  Sex and intimacy can be difficult to talk about because it often comes with pressure and/or awkwardness.  Rare is the couple who has perfected the art of talking about intimacy which is why we compared intimacy to dining.  We can all talk about food and have been talking about, asking for, and sharing food since we were born.  We’ll start this off by saying we have an entire chapter devoted to Creating the Conversation which is filled with practical tools to get your going and keep you going in the right direction.

Our advice to you would be to take the leap of initiating the conversation be it over dinner, in a letter, make a light fun game of it such as 20 questions, create your “menu” together,  make a meal or make a meal with the intention of just dessert be your main course, talking about your favorite parts of cooking together.  Talking about food can be fun and so can talking about intimacy, if we allow ourselves the space to do so.  We say it’s a leap because if you haven’t talked about intimacy regularly with your spouse or if it tends to be tense, more than likely this is out of your comfort zone.  Growing in the realm of intimacy takes risk to create growth and growth is vulnerable.

To your adventures in dining,

Kristin, Alisha and Thom

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