Have a First Conversation BEFORE a First Encounter

Kristin and I had a fabulous time at a recent bridal show.  We met a lot of wonderful people excited about the prospect of marriage.  They were there to dream about dresses, flowers, cakes and parties — and then they saw our booth.  They saw our big sign asking them to define “intimacy” and then a large sign-size cover of our book.  As two people who love human beings in all their fascinating glory, we had a great time observing the reactions we got.  Here is a sampling:

Embarrassment: Many people — especially the younger couples and/or girls — glanced quickly and looked away.  There was one engaged girl there with her mother, who was incredibly embarrassed when her mother stopped to talk to us.  Conversely, there were many mothers who quickly steered their daughters a different direction.

Confusion:  We actually audibly heard a few couples say, upon reading the title of our book, “Oh, we don’t need that,” and walk away.  Perhaps they weren’t sure what the title meant or maybe they were sure their “intimacy” was already was going to be different from all the other couples out there and work out “magically”.

Curiosity:  For the people who did stop to talk to us many wondered why learning about “real intimacy” would even matter?  They asked if intimacy just meant “sex” or if it meant other things as well?  Hopefully they walked away a little more educated and are continuing to seek information.

Determination:  The couples or mothers who walked purposely toward us were those who had been married before and were looking to make their next marriage a lasting one, or older women looking to save their sons or daughters from experiencing some of the same heartache they experienced.  Both groups expressed their desire for more information and weren’t afraid to seek it.

It was a very eye-opening experience for us.  We more deeply realized the obstacles we face in trying to open a conversation about intimacy and sex but also just how important opening that conversation is.  If, by our efforts and those of others, we help one person or one couple then our toil and sweat will have been worth it.  

As part of our “First Encounters” posting this week, please enjoy a free, downloadable article on The Four Things to Think About BEFORE Your Honeymoon.  Honeymoon-Resized

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